Improving Scientific Writing

From the draft of a thesis by one of Aldo Leopold’s graduate students

The scope of this paper has been purposely limited to woody species common to the
bear-oak type as it seemed desirable to lay particular emphasis upon the winter season
when woody species were not only heavily utilized in general as browse but were even
the sole food of deer following heavy snows.

Leopold’s revision:
We studied woody plants because deer depended on them in winter, and during snow
may eat nothing else.